The countdown is at 1

 1 more day until last chemo, all being well! Bloods taken yesterday, appointment starts at 11am tomorrow.  The rest is out of my hands.  Each time I have the paclitaxel I worry about reaction, getting tomorrow out the way will be a relief, joyous and scary! Starting the chemo journey 16 weeks ago all you can think about is how bloody long it is! Deal with all the side effects! Try to live a small life and do some things you normally do! But then there’s the ‘are there long term effects of chemo?’ ‘has it worked?’ ‘I hope to never have to have it again!’. Once I get through tomorrow and the picc line is finally removed I’ll have the usual no sleep, bone/muscle pain to deal with and then the slow recovery from the long term effects.  But in the meantime I have my next appointment to discuss the surgery to remove a clearer margin of tissue from the breast, discussions about what drug I’ll be put on the stop oestrogen uptake, possible injection to turn off ovary and a 6 monthly injection to protect bones! Oh and the 3 weeks of radiotherapy!  So it’s over but not over! Then there’s the trying to rebuild a life, fitness, mental well-being all part of what does my future hold and how do I keep an eye on myself but not live in fear?