31/12/23 - Goodbye 2023!

 Today feels like a day for reflection, not something I normally do on 31st December! I want to say FUCK YOU 2023 - FUCK YOU CANCER  - WELCOME 2024.

Only I have to reflect on the year and recognise I did nothing to get cancer, I chose the treatment plan I was offered and did my bit by trying to keep moving forward, not looking back, keeping healthy physically and mentally.  I didn’t always succeed but I didn’t quit.  Stubborn bitch springs to mind! But I wasn’t an inspiration or brave I just did what was recommended and continue to do what has been recommended.  Losing control of my life’s decisions was the hardest part of this year, but discovering a resilience that was stronger than I could imagine was a bonus.

The support I’ve had from family and friends has helped me through tougher moments and I’m very grateful for the people in my life.

This year I’ve had:

2 biopsy’s 

Mammograms 

MRI

CT Scan

Bone Scan

First operation involving a lumpectomy and auxiliary clearance 

Picc Line Fitted

8 rounds of chemotherapy 

45 injections to promote white blood cells

Second operation taking a much larger clearance of breast tissue with partial reconstruction using top of stomach.

5 rounds of radiotherapy 

1st bone infusion 

2 months of ovarian suppression implants

Hormone blockers

Numerous consultations!

And lords knows how many blood tests!

 I want to now sing ‘And a Partridge in a Pear Tree’

The lesson I’ve learnt is 2023 is it didn’t cause cancer and I didn’t cause cancer and saying fuck you to both is ok but doesn’t change anything, nor does it stop anything from occurring in my future!

So I’m welcoming 2024 hoping for an easier year with less drama and trauma, to be able to settle into a new me and enjoy the things we have planned.  I have no control over what’s to come but I aim to move forward trying to be healthy both physically and mentally (I won’t always succeed but I will continue to try).

I wish you all a healthy and happy 2024 and know that I’m here if you need me. Xxx

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