Another week has passed, a good week, I feel well, increasing yoga daily, started a little bit of running, eating healthily, sleeping well. I’ve completed the first section of the Counselling course and completed the assessment, now to wait for it to be marked!  I always finding learning really interesting but my negative automatic thoughts always try to put the damper on things, especially when I worry about whether I’ve successfully completed any assessments!  Trying to get myself to accept feedback regardless of type is hard for me.

I feel I’m now doing everything I can to remain healthy to aid progress of treatment and recovery, but that unknown of how I will really be affected by chemotherapy and any limitations the oncologist puts on my regime is there in the back of my mind.  I HATE BEING TOLD WHAT I CAN AND CANT DO!

Occasionally the negative thoughts come up, which for me has always been automatic when I’m under any kind of stress or challenge!  The negative thoughts are part of me! But I choose to balance them.  And am mostly successful in doing this. Being positive brings more opportunities but can be hard because if something doesn’t go right or work out the way I see it going I get greatly affected, the negative brain then pops up and says ‘there you go, told you you couldn’t do it’!

I now have a lovely weekend away with hubby to look forward to, I still find it slightly challenging because it changes my routine! But it will be a welcome change and treat before oncology appointment next Tuesday.  This appointment obviously playing on my mind, not knowing what they will say before I get there I find hard! Every visit to hospital always feels frustrating!  Just want to get through the next phase of treatment, but understand it will be a marathon not a sprint!  

I’ve added photos today to document how well I feel right now, I’ve taken my long hair off and gone short over a progression of two cuts to prepare for potential hair loss and baldness.  Something I can feel I’ve had control over when so little is in your control. 27/4/23.

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