The week goes on with resting and occupying myself with puzzles, reading and box sets. Daily contact with district nurses. Drainage bag still my constant companion and not reducing the fluid production as fast as I’d like or thought it would be! The nurse arranges to come to visit this Saturday 18/3 to check wounds and drainage site. A lovely nurse came and gently undressed the surgery wounds (using a special spray to get the extra sticky tape off). She was very happy with the healing and said that externally they were healed very well and didn’t need to redress. She changed the drainage patch to a waterproof one so YES at last I can have a shower after 10 days of sink washing! Although now was the logistics of showering with a bag! Heaven though to stand under a hot shower.
My arm movements are getting better, still tight and a lot of pulling when do exercises. Few more days and can start next stage of physio.
So I’m healing well, physio going ok, CT scan was clear, Ultrasound of Ovary clear and now still waiting for Bone Scan and histology from surgery. That and what’s next.
See Ms Olsen next Wednesday for 2 week post op check. Drainage levels are coming down and Sunday level is less than 50ml, hooray! I’m doing a bit more and that’s not affecting the levels. Fingers crossed it stays down. Monday is just over the 50ml so we make arrangements for nurse to visit Tuesday to remove this bag at last, although negative brain is now stressing about not having drain in and where will any fluid go with lymph nodes in, worrying about lympodema!
Saw a new message on the mycare app (dread always fills me when this app pings up nowadays). Bone scan results are back and showing all clear - FANTASTIC NEWS! I then get a phone call from Ms Olsen to let me know the good news as didn’t want me waiting till Wednesday’s meeting and still worrying.
Tuesday comes around and I’m on tender hooks waiting for nurse. Hardly any fluid in bag from last 12 hours so that bodes well. Still apprehensive about whether getting drain out will hurt! The first district nurse I saw arrives and starts by taking off dressing. Then realises there are a couple of stitches still holding it in place. Now the search for her scalpel! Whole bag turned upside down and nope not there. There’s me holding my bag and tube up with my arm and boob out waiting! So little scissors come out instead, not ideal apparently but hey ho! So eventually she manages to cut through stitches with minimal pulling, then I’m told to relax and concentrate on breathing while tube comes out. Thankfully no pain just feel it slide from its position, phew! Waterproof dressing back on for 5-7 days when it should be healed. Advised there will be a little leakage into dressing but it would settle down. Almost two weeks with this bag and I now felt both lighter and naked without it!
Wednesday 22/3 appointment comes around, slightly apprehensive but feeling quite good, would find out next steps and be getting on with it. Never quite as simple as that though. Running slightly late! And in we go! Stupid gown on once more then in Ms Olsen comes.
So not a T1 breast tumour as 2.5cms in the end, so T2. Ok understand that. Histology shows cells close to margin (although this can happen when handling tissue, not that that’s much use for me to know, also knowing that if we were in America it would be classed as a clear margin is pointless too, although encouraging I think!) so her advice is the bigger op to remove a little more to get a clear margin of breast tissue and use top of belly to reconstruct, FFS don’t want another op! She could do 13/4 but that would clash with potential oncology appointment and start of chemotherapy! Armpit is now clear, described as an N1, cancer in sentinel node and micro amount in one other. 11 removed from that armpit and other 9 were clear, so that’s a bit more promising sounding! Cancer described now at Stage 3 because of size of tumour and that it’s present in 1-3 nodes. Nearly forgot! She checks my wounds and is happy, then proceeds to draw on my boob to show what next op would look like, then gets a Doppler to check for blood vessels, apparently two present so that’s good! Both hubby and I panic slightly thinking Christ is she doing it tomorrow or something!
Told she would send referral to oncology that day, but they would have team meeting that Friday 24/3 to discuss when to operate. I obviously don’t expect to hear anything till next week!
Friday comes around and PING, new letter in mycare app, dread again! Letter summarising Wednesdays visit! So off I go looking at histology results and being the prat I am I’m Googling what this and that means. Everything pretty evident and as I already understood until I get to this final score! So once again I googled it! Wish I fucking hadn’t as sent me into a right panic! POOR PROGNOSIS! WTF! Can’t make complete sense of what this really means, end of the week and I’m in tears again and panicked. I ring Breast Care Nurses (bloody answering machine, always a bloody machine), I leave a manic message! They finish at 4.30 so fat chance they’ll ring me today. A weekend ahead to stress and panic! So I ring the Macmillan’s help line. Speak to a lovely nurse who talks me down, helps put things into context and gives me more perspective. Thank god for her being there at the end of a phone today!
So worrying less, but on my mind is prognosis (how long do I have left to live), has any cancer cells made it through those bad lymph nodes and recurrence of breast cancer!!
Counteracting thoughts with, all primary cancer been cut out, chemotherapy to kill any potential cells that made it through and any left in breast, further surgery followed by radiotherapy to make doubly sure all cells gone from breast and then anti oestrogen drugs for 5 years to reduce chance or recurrence.
So what else can I do to help myself! Fast forward and back to google for natural remedies and foods to help immune system, protect liver and reduces oestrogen!!!
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