Well a few days have passed and I haven’t updated where I’m at! The CT scan went ahead on the Saturday 4/3.  I had a pre-op on the Friday 3/3, which I’d forgotten about.  Lots of questions get asked.  They take more bloods to be tested, check weight, blood pressure and check blood sugar (this was higher than expected, but I’d had lots of fruit for breakfast and honey on toast for lunch, so this could be the reason (note to self: get checked once this shit show I’m already in is over!)).  Another thing I hadn’t mentioned is that at each appointment you get given leaflets relevant to what’s happening and what then may happen next!  Each one a booklet explaining details about the different treatments, potential side effects and after care.  You need to read these several times as they don’t sink in when your brain is in stress mode! All very clinical and matter of fact and tbh quite scary! 

I can’t remember now which day, but the Monday or Tuesday I get a phone call from Ms Olsen saying ct scan is back and it’s all clear, no signs of disease in my torso - HUGE RELIEF.  It has shown something maybe near my ovary (I only have the one as I had the other removed in my early twenties due to ovarian cysts), she said she didn’t think it was connected to the breast cancer but best to get referral for ultrasound.  I was once again on my period when I had the ct scan so am hoping it’s connected!  But hey ho, give me one more thing to fucking worry about!

8/3 and the day of my op.  I already know it won’t be until at least 1pm and thankfully could have an early light breakfast.  But why oh why do we all have to be there for 7.30am?! I’m told it’s so the consultant and anaesthetist can see you!  Well just to add to the drama, snow forecast for large parts and we can get it heavy, so once again something else to add to the stress!  Luckily though only light and disappeared as we left our town heading for Exeter! As I’ve mentioned previously I’m early for everything so we get there at 7am!  To which me and every other patient coming into today are told NOPE our partners can’t stay with us and have to leave!  Not sure who was more upset, me or hubby! So we do as told and briskly say our goodbyes!

I’m then eventually led through to where I’ll be waiting and given a chair! You don’t even get a bed until you go down to theatre! Now my stress levels are through the roof already but the thought of sitting around until 1pm is awful!  So out come magazines, music and a bit of breathing techniques and yoga (at least whilst my curtain was shut)! There are 5 of us ladies waiting in this wing and the theatre time split between 2 consultants.  3 ladies meant to go down this morning then 2 of us this afternoon! No idea on positioning yet but have horrible feeling I’ll be last!

So the waiting commences! Ms Olsen comes around and draws on my breast and armpit ready for surgery then disappears! Nothing else happens! The anaesthetist doesn’t come to me till after lunch time.  By now we’ve worked out things are running behind and that one of the morning ladies is now the first one in the afternoon! Frustrated is probably best word to describe how I’m feeling right now!  Then the first lady who went down comes back onto the ward! She looks grey and not well! We now start to feel panicked! Christ this will be us too soon (us 3 remaining ladies had by now been chatting and weirdly bonding in our crappy circumstances)!  Thankfully we see this lady recover quite quickly, colour returns to her cheeks, a cup of tea and toast and she’s almost her normal self - PHEW! 

I’m right in being last one down, from a 7am arrival I don’t go down till gone 4pm! Terrified and tearful I’m walked down to the anti room for the theatre (wearing the sexy gown and surgical stockings), I just want it over and to be heading home.  Tears and shaking while they get me ready and give me anaesthetic but once that started going in through cannula, heaven, calm serenity. Over 2 hours in surgery, a wide excision lumpectomy and full axillary clear of that armpit.  I wake in the recovery room feeling quite good (2 lots of anti sickness drugs given so I don’t feel sick) then wheeled up to ward! Not a long journey but now feeling a little nauseous so one more anti sickness drug, cup of tea and toast and feeling much brighter! Thank god that’s over! I can get dress and go home! 

Now to get dressed with a little help (and discuss the drain that now stays with me till it’s producing less than 50ml fluids per day for two consecutive days (probably be in about a week, yeh right!), oh and you have a funky shoulder bag to keep it in).  Aftercare discussed (district nurse will be in contact tomorrow) pain relief discussed and next time I’ll see Ms Olsen is 22/3 for full results!

Home and repair! 


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