My Cancer Story - Battle with Mental Health

 So today I’m back into Wonford to have a marker inserted into my boob ready for surgery Thursday 5/10!  I’m very anxious as my only experience so far was biopsy and it hurt!!  So have everything crossed this is painless, simple and quick! Had my pre-op last Friday 22/9 and apart from waiting for blood test results I’m good to go for next op! Just want this next bit out of the way now! Almost 4 weeks since last chemo and feeling so much better, building stamina and fitness whilst still working through any remaining side effects!  Having another op feels like it will put me back but I know it’s nothing like the debilitating chemotherapy effects.   Another hurdle in this journey to get out of the way on the road back to life! Already sorting out next years adventure, something to look forward to, to keep my mind focused on.  ALL DONE - no problem and no pain.  Very supportive Breast Care Team. 

  2 weeks post chemo and taking advantage of starting to feel more like me!! Building fitness before next breast operation on 5/10.  Almost 5 mile dog walk and 20 minutes cold water therapy! 

 It’s hard to take your mind off this part of your life considering the dramatic effect is has on you physically and mentally, so we’ve taken a long weekend to try to reconnect with something different and have some fun. 

 Wasn’t expecting it to be coming back so soon, sparse but definitely there. 

  54 injections over 17 weeks and the bucket is full and I’m done!  Not bad for a needle phobia!

 The high of finishing chemo has this shadow over it and that is today’s consultations.  You just want to STOP THINKING ABOUT IT ALL! First off meeting with Dr Hwang, oncologist, nice enough man but no real personal skills, all very clinical and matter of fact!  IM NOT A STATISTIC, IM A PERSON! Do they not realise how talking to you like this is so detrimental to mental well-being!  Oh and once again he was late! I hate people being late! I HATE that I have to have more drugs to control my oestrogen or at least stop it being absorbed.  But completely understand the  reasoning.  But once again it’s not my choice, not really!  By having all the treatment I’ve been through and still to go through I statistically increase my chances of survival, but these are not choices, there’s no way to evaluate whether doing it differently in a parallel world, that if I didn’t do this what the differences would be in outcome! I have to go with what they statistically suggest for me and for my family! S